Friends & Lovers

I’ve always been the girl who insists that just because I have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean I don’t have time for my friends. When D moved out to San Francisco, back in 2004, I remember having a conversation with Sascha the night before he arrived. We went on a long walk and I promised that just because my boyfriend was no longer going to be just a long-distance-boyfriend, I wasn’t suddenly going to disappear from Sascha’s life. And though it was a bit complicated in the beginning, since D was just getting to know Sascha, eventually it all worked out fine. Sure, we didn’t see each other as often, but we still made time. Then, of course, Sascha got girlfriends :O) and we didn’t see him as often, either.

Anyway, the other day, I was talking to my friend Rohna and said I hadn’t seen her in a while. Her response: “Well, that’s cause you’ve got a boyfriend.” I was adamant that wasn’t true. Sure I spent a whole lot of time with Chris, but I hung out with her and Sara, too. Had she seen Sara more than she had seen me? No, she replied, but she had at least talked to Sara over the weekend. But so had I. Sara called me and we spoke for a while. And Chris was sick and in bed, sleeping, most of Saturday, so it’s not that I didn’t have time to call my friends. I just don’t usually call people. I’m not a big phone person and the only times I really make long phone calls, is to friends who I never see, or my family.

Initially, I thought Rohna was accusing me of not spending more time with her and Sara, but then I realized she was explaining (both to me and herself) that she understood. That it was only natural. When I was single, I had tons more time to hang out with my friends, but now I want to spend time with Chris, too, and that takes away from the time I have for my friends. In fact, I want to spend more time with him than with my girlfriends. It makes sense. So maybe it’s not such a bad thing, and I shouldn’t feel the need to defend myself.

At least, until they start complaining…