Disappear Here- Part Deux

Long conversation with D, my good friend (and ex-boyfriend) in Boston. Some background: D and I lived together for about 1 1/2 years. He moved out here to San Francisco for me, but a year later, decided he wanted to move back to Boston because he missed his family and friends. I moved out to Boston for a summer, then we tried the long distance thing, but it didn't work out.

Anyways. We spoke for a bit yesterday, but then got cut off because he was running late for a date, so he called back tonight. We talked about the usual, friends, love lives, romantic advice, etc. Then somehow we started talking about my plans for moving back to the east coast. He says it seems I'm really happy here, that I've found a place I really fit in. When he asked me for reasons why I want to move back, I guess none sounded convincing. I thought I wanted to move to New York. I'm pretty sure I still do, but he says that moving back for family is a surefire way to resent them- he did, at least initially. And friends, well they have their own lives- you never seem to be able to pick up where you left off.

The point is, he says if I wanted to move back, I would have already. Which in a way, is true. When I went to visit my family in Boston last time, I interviewed for jobs, and while there were some promising possibilities, I didn't choose to pursue them. I do remember coming home and wondering if I was really done with San Francisco. Was I ready, am I ready, to leave? Have I had enough of this crazy, wacky city?

I'm not sure.

But I never really planned to move to New York because I have friends there. That was an added bonus. I like the challenge of moving to a new city and carving myself a niche. I'm not really the pick-up-where-we-left-off kind of person. I don't move places nostalgic for an elusive past that will never be relived. I don't go back, I won't go back, in a running back home kind of way. No. I want to meet new people. Have new experiences. Start all over in a new place. Another great city.

Or do I really? Should I just disappear here?