"The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things" - J.T. Leroy

I saw a movie tonight with a new friend, Urmila, who my roommate introduced me to. The movie was called, "2 Days in Paris," and it was directed/produced by Julie Delpy who was also in the "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" movies. We figured it would be somewhat similar and since we had both liked those two movies, we were excited to see this one. It turned out to be entirely different from the other two (which were directed by Richard Linklater, who also did "Waking Life" and "A Scanner Darkly"), the only similarity being they all took place in Paris.

The movie was hilarious. The entire audience was laughing out loud throughout the movie. It was crude, it was funny, it was endearing, it was frustrating, but really, above all, it was realistic and it made you think about relationships and how misunderstandings come about, out of insecurities, leading to failed romances. The last scene, though, showed the two main characters having their big blow-out, that one big relationship-breaking blow-out, where you say everything, EVERYTHING, and which is the turning point for many couples. It goes one of two ways only: You either break up, or you stay together. The part that really hit home, was how people, when feeling vulnerable, act out of defensiveness and end up ending a relationship they didn't really want for to end. How, even at that last moment, we can push someone away who we actually really intended to pull closer.

The last time I had one of those big blow-outs, however, I ended up getting back together with someone when I shouldn't have. All that honesty can make you feel closer to the other person. But really, what's the use of honesty when it comes so late in the course of a relationship? You can shock a dying person's heart and manage to revive him/her, but you cannot use last-minute honesty to revive a dying relationship. He cannot say, "You don't laugh with me the way you do with him (insert male friend's name here)." You cannot say, "I never felt like I could say whatever came into my head, the way I can to him. He doesn't judge me." He cannot nod slowly, in understanding, and say, "You mean, I never accepted you for who you are." You cannot say these things and think that now that you've put them out there, things will change. They don't. We tried.

There are certain things that should come naturally in a relationship. We have to learn to recognize it when they don't, instead of dragging on a relationship that will never work. It's just that it's too easy to let your heart lead you instead of your brain. We have to be honest with each other, because if we leave it to our hearts, they'd really rather be duped.