I have to come to terms with it...

I am an Old Married Man Magnet.

Last night, before going to the Metreon for a scary movie, Erik and I stopped in for a drink at the sports bar across the street. I was telling him about the latest developments with the pervs at work and he turned around to me and said:

Erik:
I’m going to be one of those guys. Old, committed, and harassing pretty young things (boys).

Me:
Why are you in a committed relationship anyway?

Erik:
Cause I need to be committed. (He points to his head).

Me:
You’re not old. And you’re cute. You could harass me anytime.

Erik:
But I’m thinking… you really do have a problem.

Me:
I know. Is it something I do?

Erik:
I don’t know what you do but you do it everywhere you go. Remember J--- Adams?

My vendor, when I still worked with Erik, was always flirting with me, coming over to see me, wanting to take me out to lunch. Now that I’m working across the street from Erik, at another architecture firm, I still see J Adams every once in a while. Erik went into vulgar details about J Adams and what he probably dreams about doing to me and I “Ugh”-ed and “Eeewww”-ed, freaking out the crowd of after-work happy professionals around us. Then, satisfied by having captured the attention of our immediate neighbors, we went to see our movie.

This afternoon I got a call from him:

Erik:
Ok. Guess what you conjured up.

Me:
What?

Erik:
I got a call from the receptionist saying she had J Adams on the line for me, and I’m thinking of course. Of course you have J Adams on the line.

Me:
That’s funny.

Erik:
It gets funnier. He asked about you and wants to take Enrique, Tyrone, myself, and YOU out to lunch. And you get to pick where.

Me:
Aaaaggghhh!!! What is it that I do?!!!

Erik:
I don’t know but if I had even a quarter of your magic, I’d be in heaven.


(As I was writing this, my HR friend came over to tell me she had to talk to me. Apparently, my manager had complained to HR on my behalf, about the other day’s incident with the perv.)